Weight Loss and Personal History - Setting Yourself Up for Failure (AGAIN!)

This subject is a little hard for me to write on. But, since I hope to get more followers, I am addressing everyone out there in blogland.

Some of us inherit obesity. Some of us develop a mental disorder based on some trauma, whether it is abuse (of any type) or something tragic that happened in our childhoods or other time in our lives. For whatever reason you may be overweight or obese, help and support are always necessary.

I began seeing a therapist (new one!) on Friday. Gotta love it. I decided after all of these years of trials and failures, I needed to be real and be true to myself. I realize that it is not just a matter of saying and doing, but getting to the root of the problem. My problem is me. My problem involves my (sometimes) lack of willPOWER and my overall mental health. I need to be healthy all around, not just my body.

My failures are due to my dissolving of my confidence. Before, I would start a program (can't tell you how many times I have done that) and do it ok for a couple of weeks, then start to talk myself out of it, making myself feel like a failure, even though I hadn't quite failed yet. But, I constantly set myself up for failure, because I felt I deserved it.

I realize that not everyone has the insurance or the money to seek out a therapist. I strongly advise you join a group such as Overeaters Anonymous or any other therapy group. This type of group is either free or minimal charge and will give you the steps you need to help yourself.

I know I always say that I am my own support group, that I don't have one at home. This is still true. My support group is me. I fought myself to actually get the help that I need to make this bout of weight loss a success. I am tired of failing. But all of you who visit and especially those that leave comments are my support as well. I want to thank each and every one of you.

Please leave a comment. When you leave one, it also gives me a way to find you, and help you on your journey as well. We all need each other in this journey. It has been said before... Never climb a mountain on your own, for who will catch you should you fall...

2 more pounds!!!

I lost 2 more pounds! Yeah! This next week, I'm going to try Jillian's recipe to the right (in the sidebar). I hope to "flush out my system" a little and feel more energetic. Hopefully, that will also lead to more pounds lost.

I am extremely tired. I thought (because "experts" said so...) that once I started exercising and eating right on a regular basis, I would have a lot more energy... So... when is it coming? I can't wait for that energy to get here...

I'm okay with my weight loss, because I know what I did this week. I also didn't kill myself and deny things that beckoned. I used the moderation method and feel pretty good about my choices.

Last night, I ate 6 dark chocolate Hershey Kisses. Today... I ate a 2 pieces of bacon, but stopped there. I also ate a bunch of popcorn (sans butter) tonight at the movies. I think I did pretty okay. Yay me. I will keep going.

On another note... I had a doctor appointment today. And while they have gone to "paperless", it is really saddening and depressing that when they show me the screen, in the lower right hand corner, with a bright red flag next to it... it says "OBESITY: active". How sad is that? I don't think I look that large, but then again, I'm not a doctor. It certainly puts a reality check on me. I look forward to the time when I go in, glance at the screen, and nothing with a bright red flag will be there. Woohoo... 43 pounds to go! Yeah me!