Sticking To It...

Although I skipped writing yesterday, I did workout. I also ate "fairly" well. I official swim meets, and yesterday was a meet.

So... after not really being able to sleep (see my "other" blog), I finally took a nap for 2 1/2 hours, then got up at 5:15 am, worked out with Jill (30-Day Shred again), ate an orange, did dishes and minor cleanup. I was out the door by 7am. When I got to the meet, I ate scrambled eggs with salsa (nothing else on it... no potatoes, no cheese, no tortilla [I would usually get the works in a breakfast burrito], so YAY ME!!!) and a banana. For lunch, I splurged a little bit. They offered Chik-Fil-A sandwiches (fried chicken breast). I went ahead and got one, but declined the chips and other junkie items.

Let me tell you... the temptations are there. Although it is swimming for youth, the snack bars usually have a good choice of junk: donuts, bagels, "the works" breakfast burritos, pancakes, sausage, chili dogs, hamburgers, nachos, chips, candy, soda, coffee... Do you see what I mean? I did not drink coffee, or soda all day at the meet... only water. And it was good! AND it wasn't hard to do. The temptations might be there, but I wasn't overly tempted.

I began this journey knowing that if I full-on "dieted", then it wouldn't work for me, because I know myself. I would cave. It would feel forced, and I would resent it. Not this time.

Since we are on our feet all day, I wasn't sitting on my butt.

Then... I went to Chuck E. Cheese with my kids, Mom, nephew, sister and her bf. I sampled the cheese, had two boneless wings, 2 pieces of pizza (small ones to make it "appear" like more), and a salad. I tried a cup of coffee, but only ended up having a couple sips (it really helps when it isn't "good" coffee [lol!]!!!). I did have to try a 2 small bites of brownie when I got to my mom's house. My (almost) 4-year-old made them, so... I had to tell her how they were. But, again I resisted the calling. I'm pretty proud of myself.

I worked out again this morning (yeah! I said I would do it since I skipped Friday!) and feel relatively well. Although... I am exhausted from yesterday's marathon of sleeplessness. I also took pics, but after not really seeing any results (do you see any? please let me know in the comment section. my girls "claim" they do, but i just don't see it and my clothes don't feel like they fit "differently"), I have decided I will only takes pics once a month, on the 1st of the month, to be fairly equal to the original starting point of January 1st, 2009.

OMGosh! I am so SORE today!

So... I did Level 1 of Jillian Michaels, again, today (Day 2). EEEWWWW! I am so sore! My kids are totally laughing at me, as they "see" the pain I am going through with the super sore muscles.

Now... I didn't do it 100%, as my muscles were already semi-sore, but I did do it - all the way through, too! I was a little achy, so I did it "beginner" style and low impact. I did it half-way yesterday, and I think all of the squats just totally killed my thighs! I'd love it if they shriveled away forever, which is my ultimate goal (lol). But I'm sure my strength and endurance will improve within the next couple of days. She sure kicks your butt - at least she kicks mine!

I watched DietTribe yesterday, too (had it Tivo-ed from Monday on Lifetime Television). Wow! All of those women have a great goal and great support. It would be nice to get some support... This is my support for now.

My kids "want" to exercise with me, but I am too emotional right now to deal with their laughing. They think it's pretty funny to see me huff and puff, sweat and grunt. I (unfortunately) take it a different way. It is extremely hurtful to me. I didn't used to be like this.

My weigh-in day of January 1st was actually the heaviest I've ever been. It may not seem like a lot to others to want to lose 51 pounds, but it sure seems like a lot to me. To someone else, it may seem like a huge amount, then they probably have never been heavy at all, as they don't have that mentality. So you know... the 2 pounds I lost is probably (seriously) due to more water (see the Blinkie above!!!) and limiting myself to 2 cups of coffee/soda (either/or) each day. I am almost beyond the headaches! Go me!

Here's some beginning pics, taken from last week. Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I'm a little nervous, as I've drank so much water, I feel so bloated and heavy! I know I'm doing well, but the results will probably trickle in. The pics may not look so bad, but, they look bad to me. And this is about how I feel about me.

What it came down to was a feeling. I was feeling way too comfortable in sweats. Yeah, I know... they are supposed to be comfortable. But the problem was that everything else was fitting way too tight to be comfortable, so sweats were the only thing I had left. I was also feeling really tired, really depressed, and really agitated for absolutely everything. Everything and anything was stressing me out. So, I decided to start to "fix" my problem all by myself. If this didn't help things, then I would need to take another venue to get my feelings resolved.

I'm sure some of you (if there are any of you out there) that can totally relate. You have been there, or maybe this is what you are feeling now. Thank you for your support.

Those of you that just don't get it, just try to understand. You may not be able to relate to the weight issue, but maybe to the idea of fitting in anywhere, even socially. You may try to do what you can to fit in, but you just never "feel" comfortable. It's not a good feeling. You know what I mean...