Gained Almonst One Pound, But I'm Still Doin' Fine

Yikes! But to make myself feel better, I measured myself as compared to 6 months ago, which was when I was even "smaller" than January 1st this year.

I am proud to say I lost inches!!! I can honestly feel good! I worked out and watched what I ate, for the most part. Yes, I ate cake, and yes, I ate cookie, but that was it. I had a very small piece of each.

Inch-wise, I lost a total of 15.5 inches. This is taken from measurements of my arms (biceps), upper thighs (the largest part), calves, hips, waist and bust. I lost 4 inches in just my waist and 2 inches in my hips! Woohoo! Unfortunately, a side effect of losing weight is where you want it most... Yes... my bust is shrinking. I lost some there, too.

On another note, I worked out again with Jillian Michaels today. I am still on her Level 1. However, I browsed Level 2 today (after my workout).... not sure I'm ready for that. It appears quite difficult to me. We'll see. I think I might need to change it up to get some results.

I did feel rather tired this morning. Since I worked out in the late afternoon yesterday, the push-ups were EXTREMELY difficult for me. Oh well. I got through it... PUSH, Push, push!

Delayed Workout Does Me In!

This morning, my workout was put to an abrupt halt 5 minutes into it. My 4-year-old was already awake (she is usually asleep when I exercise). That was NOT the problem, though. She watched a movie (for 2 minutes) then decided she wanted to tell me she loved me (Awww..!). Then... she kept talking to me, and finally... patting me on the thigh and telling me, "Good job, Mom!" was a little too much. I had to stop. I can barely catch my breath while exercising without talking to anyone. So... I delayed my workout.

I felt a little "off" most of the day. But, as 4pm came around, she was napping, and everything that needed immediate attention was done, I worked out. Uh...

I have since then felt a total drag. At 6pm, I felt like it was 11pm. I am totally exhausted! I fell asleep for a little bit, then woke up (have ta finish my laundry... ya know!). So, here I am, eyes burning, brain hurting, body feeling a little weak... I think I'll just get up earlier tomorrow morning and see how that works out.

Busy... Busy...

So I didn't write yesterday, but I maintained. And it was hard. My (now) 4-year-old had her birthday and wanted a BIG cookie (pizza-sized) with M&M's and a cake (vanilla/vanilla). Plus, she had pizza. Ok, so I ate one SMALL piece of cake, and two SMALL squares of the cookie. I only ate one piece of pizza and a couple of chips. So... today should be a better day, we got all of that out of the way.

Worked out both days, but today I was dragging in it. I didn't want to finish, but Jill (on the DVD) kept telling me not to stop, to not even think about turning off the DVD. And so... I didn't. I finished the workout and I'm better for it.

I haven't been gardening this week, as there isn't much time. I've been going, going, going! Whether it's one thing or another, I just keep going.

So... stay busy, exercise, take medications (if you need to), drink LOTS of water, cut down portion sizes, and be sure to dress well. This last one is important. Dress like you feel good about yourself. This doesn't mean "dress up." It just means brush your teeth and your hair, put shoes on, makeup (if you wear it), and for Heaven's sake... take those dirty sweats (and anything stained) off! Sweats are ok, as long as they are cleaned and not hole-y. This is another exercise in believing in yourself. If you look good, you are bound to feel a bit better. Eventually, this (too) will rub off on you and make you feel better and actually begin to believe... in YOU!

Snap, Crackle and Pop... and It ISN'T Rice Krispies!!!

Even though I've been working out for over 3 weeks now (yay me!), you'd think the sounds I my body makes was my daughter eating her breakfast cereal. I still hear joints popping, bones creaking, and hips groaning. I hear my knees and shoulders pop, my fingers and wrists seem to crackle, and occasionally... my ankle snaps. Don't fret, now... it doesn't hurt. It just makes me realize how long portions of my body sat there... unused.

Do you have unused parts of your body? Don't worry about it. Just start out and go slowly. It's okay to do modified impact. It's okay to not go "full out". If you ease into it, you are much less likely to hurt yourself or burn yourself out. It is a good thing. Just do your best and keep going. Babysteps!!!

This last weekend was really hard for me. I ate well on Saturday, but Friday was too much food for me to say no to. However, I didn't eat as much as I would have previously, so I believe I did fairly well. Yesterday, fresh brownies were made in my house, and it was freezing outside. How can anyone say no to warmth in the form of chocolate, I ask you! I am not that willPOWERED but I did pretty well, to say the least and didn't come out of it by eating half a pan... I only ate 1 1/2 small brownies. Not too bad, but not too good, either.

Today will be a better day. It is more routined, more scheduled, and I am grateful for that.

I did workout today. I exercised with Ms. Jillian. It was difficult to get through it, as for some unexplained reason, I felt more stress on my body during the workout, causing me to feel tired. BUT! On a good note, I finished my workout anyway. Yay me!

Sticking To It...

Although I skipped writing yesterday, I did workout. I also ate "fairly" well. I official swim meets, and yesterday was a meet.

So... after not really being able to sleep (see my "other" blog), I finally took a nap for 2 1/2 hours, then got up at 5:15 am, worked out with Jill (30-Day Shred again), ate an orange, did dishes and minor cleanup. I was out the door by 7am. When I got to the meet, I ate scrambled eggs with salsa (nothing else on it... no potatoes, no cheese, no tortilla [I would usually get the works in a breakfast burrito], so YAY ME!!!) and a banana. For lunch, I splurged a little bit. They offered Chik-Fil-A sandwiches (fried chicken breast). I went ahead and got one, but declined the chips and other junkie items.

Let me tell you... the temptations are there. Although it is swimming for youth, the snack bars usually have a good choice of junk: donuts, bagels, "the works" breakfast burritos, pancakes, sausage, chili dogs, hamburgers, nachos, chips, candy, soda, coffee... Do you see what I mean? I did not drink coffee, or soda all day at the meet... only water. And it was good! AND it wasn't hard to do. The temptations might be there, but I wasn't overly tempted.

I began this journey knowing that if I full-on "dieted", then it wouldn't work for me, because I know myself. I would cave. It would feel forced, and I would resent it. Not this time.

Since we are on our feet all day, I wasn't sitting on my butt.

Then... I went to Chuck E. Cheese with my kids, Mom, nephew, sister and her bf. I sampled the cheese, had two boneless wings, 2 pieces of pizza (small ones to make it "appear" like more), and a salad. I tried a cup of coffee, but only ended up having a couple sips (it really helps when it isn't "good" coffee [lol!]!!!). I did have to try a 2 small bites of brownie when I got to my mom's house. My (almost) 4-year-old made them, so... I had to tell her how they were. But, again I resisted the calling. I'm pretty proud of myself.

I worked out again this morning (yeah! I said I would do it since I skipped Friday!) and feel relatively well. Although... I am exhausted from yesterday's marathon of sleeplessness. I also took pics, but after not really seeing any results (do you see any? please let me know in the comment section. my girls "claim" they do, but i just don't see it and my clothes don't feel like they fit "differently"), I have decided I will only takes pics once a month, on the 1st of the month, to be fairly equal to the original starting point of January 1st, 2009.

Today - NO Exercise! Tonight - NO CHILDREN!

My hubby got his W-2s in, so I worked on taxes most of the morning (the CA website is SUPER slow, and so is my computer). Also, my (almost) 4-year-old got up at 7am. What is with her? But hey. I still worked super hard. I did some knees to floor work while cleaning, and still feel good.

To make it up (which I will), I will be skipping Sunday as my rest day this week. (Cheer me on!)

But... for the good news... I lost two (2) more pounds! Yay me! I also got a new scale, which is digital, that is whey the tenths is on there. Woohoo! I'm doing great! I am proud of myself! You can be, too!!!

Enough for now... I got a hot date with my hubby tonight. We are actually doing NO CHILDREN!!! Let's see how that goes.

Without Jillian Today...

Today, my almost 4-year-old woke up earlier than normal. So... I wasn't able to exercise with my motivator, Miss Jillian Michaels. Bummer, but... I did her workout (sans Jill!) anyway and just set my timer for 30 seconds to keep up the interval pattern. Worked for me! I even sweated more. Probably because I was killing myself, as I started my workout WAY late for me. I almost wasn't sure I'd get it in. But I did. I made myself... and it wasn't that bad.

Okay folks... the recipe that is on the sidebar for the flushing-type tea (drink) tastes HORRIBLE!!!! But, today I'm going to the bathroom constantly, so it must take a day to "work." However, I think I will still drink 3 cups of tea (1 teabag each at different point37.56/12) with just a splash of cranberry juice and a splash of lemon juice. This will be much easier to "phone it in" (down it quickly) than to drink almost two quarts of nasty stuff! Plus, I drink enough water throughout the day, I really don't need the diluted version.

I haven't weighed myself yet. Will save that for tomorrow morning, as I did my initial weigh at 11:30pm, and have decided (after the poll that only one person completed - guess I don't have very many readers... lol!) to weigh myself first thing in the morning. Maybe this will do more for my whompa! Gotta give something a try, as I haven't been doing this that long, yet I feel I've already reached one plateau and nothing is changing!

I'm thinking this "flushing" is hopefully the change I need to rev my engine. Woohoo! I'm comin'!!!

What "Other" Type of Exercise are You Doing?

I just don't think that if I exercise in the morning and eat well throughout the day and sit on my butt, it will work... this losing weight thing. So, in an effort to institute business, I have begun making lists. I've looked around at things I've been neglecting, i.e. gardening (weeding, thinning out plants, re-planting, etc.), sewing (mending, UFOs [unfinished objects], etc.), cleaning (deep cleaning and organizing), etc.

This week, I've been working on the flower beds in my front yard. The goal was to work 1/2 hour each day. Beginning Monday, I worked 1 1/2 hours (300% of my goal!). Yesterday, I worked a little over an hour, and only finished because you kinda can't do that kind of thing in the dark... Today was another 1 1/2 hours. So, my flower beds are lookin' good (I still have a painter's palette-shaped one in the VERY front to do), and I am almost done with the front. I also pruned the rose bushes, since some blooms have just croaked. I also thinned out the strawberries (took off all the dead leaves and replanted some runners in thinning spots). If you don't think gardening or weeding is exercise, think again.

Every year, when I begin my gardening (I go through spurts), my legs and back are sore and achy, my shoulders feel like they've been lifting 50 lb bags of flour all night, and I just get tired. The crab grass that runs wild here is a workout alone. Whelp... this time, I don't have any of that (THANK YOU, JILLIAN MICHAELS!!!), except the tiredness. Hopefully, that, too - in time - will leave my list of complaints.

Jillian worked me again this morning, then I went and did my crab grass routine (see above). I did some laundry (another workout, if you walk back and forth to push each item away individually and not save steps...) and am now eating oatmeal with raisins. I still have yet to watch DietTribe and The Biggest Loser from this week. Hopefully I'll be able to get to that today.

I am still having insomnia. I go to bed fairly late. I keep promising myself (and my doctor) that I will lay down with 8 hours to sleep. I understand that I need to sleep to lose, but I really don't want to take a sleep aid. But, I'm sure this is my problem, as the scale doesn't seem to be moving (yeah, I know... I really shouldn't weigh everyday, but hey! it just calls to me...).

Totally Tuesday!

And I stuck to it, still working out! I heard Jillian yelling at me (as I drove my kids to school this morning) that I'd better workout when I got home. Yes... I hear her voice. I know it's my own mind, but hey! whatever works for me... lol! And it does work. I did the squats lower and harder, and I still feel ok. Yay me!

I went out for breakfast this morning and only at 1/2 of a muffin (Oh... so yummy!) at Mimi's Cafe, with no butter! It tasted JUST FINE! No seriously! It did. I realized for the first time goin gthere that it didn't need butter at all. I also only drank one cup of coffee. I am so proud. I did have a "just enough" breakfast, which was a small portion of potatoes, black beans, and egg and a tortilla with varioius heat-producing salsas. Very good, and didn't make me "want" to eat the remainder on my plate, because... well... there weren't any. But, like I said... they were "just enough" portions, and that is the intent.

I've been drinking my water faithfully. I think, overall, on day 20... I'm doing pretty good. This is the longest I've ever stuck to my guns and kept on going.

And, Josh, if you are reading this... you should have faith and believe in yourself. You have a wonderful child that NEEDS you to. He believes in you, and children are the most intuitive beings, especially at such a young age.

To all of you... don't put off today. Utilize the "NOW". Tomorrow will be today then yesterday, then the day before yesterday. Before you know it, it will be last week! And, if you go ahead and start, you may slip. Don't quit, don't stop. Just keep the ball going. Play the game of life, and come out ahead by picking yourself back up again and sticking to your guns. (Can you tell I feel "positive" today? LOL!) Maybe if you say or think positively, eventually, even you will believe yourself.

Weight Loss and Personal History - Setting Yourself Up for Failure (AGAIN!)

This subject is a little hard for me to write on. But, since I hope to get more followers, I am addressing everyone out there in blogland.

Some of us inherit obesity. Some of us develop a mental disorder based on some trauma, whether it is abuse (of any type) or something tragic that happened in our childhoods or other time in our lives. For whatever reason you may be overweight or obese, help and support are always necessary.

I began seeing a therapist (new one!) on Friday. Gotta love it. I decided after all of these years of trials and failures, I needed to be real and be true to myself. I realize that it is not just a matter of saying and doing, but getting to the root of the problem. My problem is me. My problem involves my (sometimes) lack of willPOWER and my overall mental health. I need to be healthy all around, not just my body.

My failures are due to my dissolving of my confidence. Before, I would start a program (can't tell you how many times I have done that) and do it ok for a couple of weeks, then start to talk myself out of it, making myself feel like a failure, even though I hadn't quite failed yet. But, I constantly set myself up for failure, because I felt I deserved it.

I realize that not everyone has the insurance or the money to seek out a therapist. I strongly advise you join a group such as Overeaters Anonymous or any other therapy group. This type of group is either free or minimal charge and will give you the steps you need to help yourself.

I know I always say that I am my own support group, that I don't have one at home. This is still true. My support group is me. I fought myself to actually get the help that I need to make this bout of weight loss a success. I am tired of failing. But all of you who visit and especially those that leave comments are my support as well. I want to thank each and every one of you.

Please leave a comment. When you leave one, it also gives me a way to find you, and help you on your journey as well. We all need each other in this journey. It has been said before... Never climb a mountain on your own, for who will catch you should you fall...

Is "Alli" Really an Ally? - DIETER'S BLOG CANDY ALERT!

Here I am, at 2:30 in the morning. Can't sleep, shouldn't eat (and I'm not), can't do much... So, I did what I really shouldn't do... I stepped on the scale. Ugh... I gained a pound! Now, I'm not going to add that to my weight loss ticker, as it isn't the day I should be weighing in anyway. I haven't gone to the restroom, and this was just a horrible time to do it. I seriously need to train myself to resist that temptation. It is, after all, such a deterrent towards my goals and is extremely depressing. Not that I don't have enough depressants already.

So, in my thought process, all I could think about was, "Maybe I should take 'Alli' or shouldn't I?" Hmmm... I haven't been overeating and have been seriously maintaining my portion control and Coke/coffee intake. Should I use the diet aide or should I "kick it" on my own? Please leave a comment and tell me your thoughts!

If you post a comment, you will be entered into my first ever blog candy contest. Of course, since this is a weight loss blog, it will be "Dieter's Candy." The winner, drawn at random next Monday night (January 26th), will be the new owner of a pedometer. Post your comments, and come back again to check if you are the winner. Good luck!

Whew! Last Night was a Doozie!

My problem was definitely not eating last night. I was so busy... visiting and dancing. So, YES! I did extra exercising (I even worked up a sweat!). Yay me! Plus, I didn't eat that much. I only had one taco, a serving of beans, 1 serving of rice and a couple of corn tortillas. I even cut off the Coke(Coca-Cola). I drank 2 bottles of water, ate a portion of a small piece of cake (taking off all the frosting and the filling)... so all in all - I did pretty good.

Prior to the party, I ate a Big Mac (thank you McDonald's!) and a small handful of fries. Honestly! Who can resist when they are 2/$3.00? Yum-O! But, I did take off a lot of the sauce and most of the "tweenie" (the bread in between the two beef patties). And I was full. I used to be able to eat a full order of fries and 1-2 Macs, but those days are gone. Thank goodness!

I don't know if I will work out today. It's supposed to be my "rest" day. However... I will be cleaning my mom's house, so I'll be moving a lot. Tomorrow morning, it's back to my regular week, although the kids do have the day off. Oh well. Keep going, I know I will!

Super Saturday!

Today is going to be a busy day. So... even though I was tired from last night, I got my butt up and worked out earlier, so it didn't interfere with my day.

I changed Jillian's workout a little though. She does a couple minutes weights, then a couple cardio, then weights, then cardio, etc. I kept this regime. However, in her first "set" of cardio, she does jumping jacks then "jump rope". This just kills my knees, and I was really having a hard time doing it. It was painful, but not muscle pain. It was putting to much stress on my knees in one shot, as both moves completely impact the knees. The next set of cardio is a "butt kick" (where you sorta jog in place but kick your glutes, working the thighs) and a squat and punch. The third and final set is a combination of the two sets, jumping jacks, then butt kicks, then squat and punch, and ending with jump rope. So, I changed the first and second set's combinations: first set - jumping jacks then butt kicks; second set - jump rope then squat and punch. This works much better for me. My knees didn't feel like they were going to dislocate, which they are very well known for doing at any given time.

So, I feel good, but still tired. Tonight, though, I will have to be fairly careful... we are going to a Quincenera (15th birthday party for a girl), which is a really big thing, almost as big (and sometimes just as big or bigger) than a wedding. Lots of food (FATTY FOOD) and drink. I will survive! The power is in me - willPOWER!!!!

2 more pounds!!!

I lost 2 more pounds! Yeah! This next week, I'm going to try Jillian's recipe to the right (in the sidebar). I hope to "flush out my system" a little and feel more energetic. Hopefully, that will also lead to more pounds lost.

I am extremely tired. I thought (because "experts" said so...) that once I started exercising and eating right on a regular basis, I would have a lot more energy... So... when is it coming? I can't wait for that energy to get here...

I'm okay with my weight loss, because I know what I did this week. I also didn't kill myself and deny things that beckoned. I used the moderation method and feel pretty good about my choices.

Last night, I ate 6 dark chocolate Hershey Kisses. Today... I ate a 2 pieces of bacon, but stopped there. I also ate a bunch of popcorn (sans butter) tonight at the movies. I think I did pretty okay. Yay me. I will keep going.

On another note... I had a doctor appointment today. And while they have gone to "paperless", it is really saddening and depressing that when they show me the screen, in the lower right hand corner, with a bright red flag next to it... it says "OBESITY: active". How sad is that? I don't think I look that large, but then again, I'm not a doctor. It certainly puts a reality check on me. I look forward to the time when I go in, glance at the screen, and nothing with a bright red flag will be there. Woohoo... 43 pounds to go! Yeah me!

Am I Doing It Right?

Schwoo! Even though my muscles aren't getting sore anymore and I can actually get through the whole 30-Day Shred, my breathing is still difficult. As I close my eyes while doing my crunches, I hear Jillian's voice saying, "Exhale" and "Inhale" during certain parts of the regime. Sucking in your tummy, belly button to the floor and inhaling on the way down? Uh... I can barely breathe, let alone concentrate on how I am breathing!

So, I ask... is there a difference as long as I am breathing? Maybe this is my problem...

Uh... NO! My problem (and I have to admit it) is that while I was once pretty fit (WAY back in the day!), I let it go. I am one of those people that constantly told myself I could work it off and not worry about anything. And here I am today, more than 50 pounds overweight and barely able to get through a workout. Yuck!

I am trying to reinforce to my girls that they need to STAY in shape. This is a forever task. It does not stop. We should not stop it. Do they really want to end up like me? I sure hope not. And so I'll keep telling them... until I die! I really don't want them to have to fight like I do.

While I worked out this morning, I had to focus... not on Jill telling me to keep going, not on the exercises, but on continuing the exercise. I seriously wanted to stop. So... I looked up at the ceiling while I did "butt kicks" and "jumped rope". I breathed with a Cheerio mouth, concentrating on pushing the air out of the little hole my lips had formed.

BEWARE: TMI (TOO MUCH INFORMATION ZONE!)
I listened to my flabby pouch hit my "bikini line" and cringed. This is something I want to get rid of. The sound disgusts me. It sounds like a flat tire hitting the road at high speed as the car continues to move. Gross!

Another thing I'd like to get rid of... my Uni-Boob! While all women like things to be "lifted and separated", it is not always possible in a sports bra. However, I am hoping that with more work, my "friends" will become a little more like they used to be.

I'm also hoping (and praying!) that when the weight goes, so will the itching. I itch everywhere! In all places fatty. The fat hangs and causes an "icky" feeling... and it itches! Yuck! I disgust myself.
OK: LEAVING TMI!

Now, don't get me wrong. If you are overweight, you do not disgust me. It is those little things that each and everyone of us is so critical of in ourselves that disgust me. It is me that disgusts me. I need to get off this roller coaster and shake it off!

Hmm... maybe I'll go do something else "productive" for the time being. Today is laundry day. According to Jonathan of the No Excuse Workout, if I walk back and forth to put away ONE item at a time, I will get in another workout. It's worth thinking about.

But, as I am starting to realize today is weigh-in, I am wondering if morning, daytime, or night is better. (I've been keeping Thursday night weigh-ins.) Please take the poll in the right-hand side bar and tell me what you think. Feel free to leave comments to explain your theory. Thanks in advance!

Got Some Energy Back...

... but I don't quite know where it came from! Yesterday, I did not workout at all. Well, I guess in a small way I did.

I had to go get the tires rotated sometime in the day. Instead of sitting and waiting in the lounge area for my car to be done, I had taken the stroller. So... Marissa and I "strolled" (walked) over to Home Depot and tooled around a bit. We walked through the gardens and smelled all of the flowers as well as priced certain citrus trees I would like. We then went in and checked out a bunch of other things in this glorious store. When I came back (almost an hour later), my car was done, and we were free to go. I guess I got some sort of exercise, but I still was dragging. Later, I went walking around Walmart looking for some things. So, I didn't just "veg" all day...

I just DID NOT feel up to working out. So sluggish with eyes burning... every move was a massive effort.

I ate moderately (but did eat more potato chips than planned!), and did fairly well. I fell asleep a little later than the previous night, but couldn't sleep when I wanted to!

Today is another story. I woke up - Refreshed, Renewed, with much more energy than the previous day! Don't know how that happened... So I said, "Hello!" to Jillian again. I worked out and don't even feel sore, 30-Day Shred and all! Yay me!

I also have gone back to eating the fruits I neglected myself yesterday. I am drinking my water again. Woohoo! It's really hard some times. I feel the flab flap (how's that for an alliteration?!) when I exercise and it totally disgusts me. But I sometimes just do not have the motivation to keep going. I'm using this blog as a motivator... I don't want to be a quitter, and don't want to admit that I failed... so here I am. I will keep going. I will endure.

I didn't watch The Biggest Loser last night, and I didn't TiVo it. (American Idol was on, so couldn't TiVo more than 2 things at a time, and there were other things being recorded.) So I don't know what happened, but will hook-up with the news later. I did watch DietTribe (recorded from Monday). Pretty good. I guess I'm not the only one who gets emotional...

I haven't stepped back on the scale and have been resisting the temptation. It's really hard. But... I'm my own support team, and I won't be setting myself up for failure again. Congrats to me!

Ugh! I Need Some ENERGY!!!

This morning, I failed to workout. I fell asleep last night really early (before 8:30 p.m.) and got up once to take a shower (1:45 a.m.) and clean up just a little bit, but then went right back to bed. I felt like I still hadn't slept. Well, this morning, I got up at 7 a.m. and still felt the same. Very sluggish... kinda drowsy... what could it be? My eyelids even feel heavy!

So, as I go through some of the motions today (not really getting anything done), I have been thinking about the possibilities. (I have also semi-promised myself I'll get some type of workout in today.) Okay... here goes: I didn't really do my full water intake Friday, Saturday, Sunday or yesterday (Monday). I also didn't eat my healthy snacks throughout the day on any of those days. So... I'm wondering if it is maybe a possibility of the two put together? Hmmm... let's think on that a while and try out my theory tomorrow. However, point to note: uh... before I started all this I was just fine in that department - except I had a ton of caffeine and sugar all day long... I guess I'll spend some time re-thinking this. In the meantime...

I'm still so TIRED! Anyone out there? Help me! I don't want to fall off. (This is certainly where I need the support system!)

After My Day of "Rest"...

Yesterday, as I sat at my computer contemplating whether I was going to work out or not, I was just tired. I wasn't burnt out, just flat out tired. We had come in at 11pm the night before (Saturday) and I slept late yesterday. I had worked out 6 days in a row. I was feeling ok (soreness-wise), but my body just felt depleted of all energy. So I wondered...

Do I work out today because I over-ate on Friday? (I was really "good" on Saturday, minus the amount of water I should be taking in, as I didn't want to have to go to the bathroom too much - I was at a memorial and a type of "wake"...) or do I rest, as Jonathan from No Excuse Workout says to rest on Sundays? Hmmm... there must be a reason for this. And I pondered throughout most of the day.

At the end of the day, I hadn't worked out. I also didn't fully take in water. But! I didn't drink my scapegoat too much. I stayed within my limit of coffee (only drank 1 1/2 cups) and didn't drink any soda. Yay me! I didn't "overeat" either. I did pretty well. However, not only did I not workout that day... I didn't really do anything except the dishes and clean off some counters. I ended up "gel-ing" while watching movies. I was so tired!

This morning... the kids finally went back to school. I went to bed late last night (couldn't sleep! I know... go figure!). But I worked out this morning (Hello, Jillian!) and don't feel sore yet. I hope to do well today.

It is hard. It is really hard not to step on the scale everyday. So... I do. I really shouldn't. It deflates me when the weight hasn't changed. But... I must persevere, as this change is for me and no one else.

But, going back to Saturday... I felt good about the weight loss (even though it was only a couple of pounds). I dressed up (of course... for a memorial), put on makeup (which is rare for me), did my hair (which is even more rare), and squeezed into one of those suck-you-up thingies to make it even more pronounced. Did my husband even notice? Uh... don't know... he never said anything. (That's my support group for you!) So, Sunday morning, I let him know he "failed" the test... I had to laugh! I asked him, "Didn't I look 'skinnier' to you?" He said, "What do you think I am, CRAZY? I'm not stupid enough to answer that question!"

I have to admit... he has a point. I didn't think about it that way. Hmm... I "think" I would be ok if he said that I looked "skinnier" that day (or any day for that matter). But... as it was pointed out to me, that could be flipped around to "mean" (in a woman's mind) that I looked "fat" on other days. Poor guy... was in a Catch-22. I get it. So... I won't ask again. I understand.

Anywho... since the girls are back in school, I actually have a "schedule" to tend to again. Yikes! I need to go to bed earlier!!! Even Oprah (and her experts) say to get lots of rest to lose weight, that your body needs to re-energize and heal itself, otherwise, you won't lose very well at all.

Missed One!

Yeppers... I did not post yesterday! So... I missed one. Life happens. I didn't get in until 2a.m., and heck if I was going to sit down and write. But, for the most part, at a dual birthday celebration, I think I did pretty well last night.

Still doing 30 Day Shred. Jillian is starting to make me feel really good! I am getting through those workouts better everyday. I was still a little sore, but I did a little more in between the advanced and beginner in the squats (a little more "full out") and such and worked it. "Burn, Baby, Burn!" is what her newsletter said yesterday, and that's what I did. Then... afterwards, my day became a little chaotic.

We had to get stuff together super quick to go. We got to my mom's early, so the girls and I walked (the little one - she's 3, almost 4 - opted to stroller-sit this one out) down to the Carl's Jr. Yeah, I know... a little fatty... but we were walking, and I hadn't eaten all day (this was 2:30'ish). I was bad in the eating area and hadn't really had my water intake either. I opted to split a burger with one kid, split a nacho with another, and split my split of the nacho with the burger child. So, I ended up eating 1/2 burger and 1/2 of a 1/2 (1/4) of super nachos. We took water. Yay us! Wasn't bad at all, and we did walk back.

Unfortunately, I cannot resist Almond Roca. I admit (because I am supposed to be honest and accountable here) between first arrival and dinner, I ate four (4) golden wrapped Almond Roca candies. They were yummy, but not as addicting as I remember. I honestly don't know why I ate them, probably from habit, as my nerves were still booming with the anxious rush of adrenaline from the previous chaos of the day. But, I do know, I was able to stop. Yay me!

Dinner was a breeze. Ok, so it was fried shrimp and fries, but I only ate 5 shrimp and not even a handful of fries. My salad was fairly large (with mixed baby greens and spinach), and I drank more water. Cake? Oh yeah! I resisted the ice cream. A little hard to do... but with choosing a cupcake over the cake, it was easier. The trick? I ate the cupcake over a napkin, not over a plate. This left no room for the ice cream, and also didn't give the "appearance" something was missing. Oooohhh... I am pretty proud of myself.

I also resisted picking up more shrimp as I walked by throughout the evening. Whew! That was good. I admit... I almost picked up another piece, thinking "this one won't hurt me..." and killed that thought, with the question, "and do you really need it, Lisa?"

(Yes, I talk to myself quite a bit through all of this. Remember, I am my own support system.) See my motto to the right (in the sidebar)? "There is no magic wand to make the weight go away. The magic... is YOU! Use your willPOWER!" I believe this.

I have begun a weight loss program so many times throughout the years. I griped, I complained (afterall, it's what I do best!), and made it someone else's fault. It was everyone else's fault. Never really mine. I didn't have a support system, no one encouraged me, everyone always offered me candy and fatty foods, as well as more food... etc., etc. You know... we've all heard it before. What I realized (this time), was that I really don't care what other people think or say or do. I have to seriously do this for me and no one else. It is hard, it is a battle, it is a mountain (see my title pic!). Others can climb it with me, if they want to... but no matter what, I will do it! It is a challenge I must accomplish, only to challenge myself.

It's not that I don't need others to support me at all. There are those things in life that you just "have" to do by yourself. Like... uh... you are constipated (I know... YUCK!), and you just need to drink lots of water and "push" through it on your own. Sometimes you have someone there offering you advice and such, but lots of times, people laugh or cajol you, making it even harder than it should be. You (I) must endure! I had to find the strength in myself. And I think... this time, I seriously found it.

Like I keep reminding myself... I am not doing a "cold turkey" thing here. I am still eating pretty much the same foods I did, just less. I ate fairly healthy before I started my little regime, just ate too much of it. I'm sure some of you do too. Those of you that don't... BABY STEPS!

I ate out the other night... I ordered veggies instead of the potato, and it was delicious! If you don't really like veggies... find a favorite seasoning and add that. You'd be surprised how a little pepper and basil changes the flavor of those steamed carrots. (Makes 'em really sweet... Yum!) Sometimes it takes a while, and it takes change. Remember, the magic is in YOU!

Oh! Before I forget to tell you... there are two steps at my mom's by the front porch. When I first got there, it was painful to take those. By the time I left last night, it was no problem, and I barely felt them. Gotta go... got up a little late today (again) and still need to work out. I will try to post again a little later.

Woohoo! "I FEEL GOOD!

da na na na na! I FEEL GOOD! da na na na na! So good! da da... So good! da da..." This song is just bursting through my ears!

I've had lots of "ups" in the past two days. Last night... my girls (both avid and "fit" swimmers) tried to get through Miss Jillian's workout. They copped out, stopped several times, one never finished and the other did it less than the "low impact/beginner" level. They seem to think (and seriously believe) I quit several times during my workouts. Think again, daughters of mine! I did it! This was an "up" for me... All I could think was "neener neener, neener!!!" ha ha! Me, who hasn't seriously exercised in a LONG time basically can outdo these two young things in an interval workout. Yay me!

Another up... [okay... first I have to tell you what was going on with me last night. Yes, I had gotten through two days of the 30 Day Shred. Remember... I was super sore. Well, last night, I was SO sore, that it took me quite a while to get up off the "throne." With all of this drinking water, I have to pee so much... and doing all them squats in Jillian's workout... uh... my thighs just kinda screamed at me and didn't want me to get back up. My girls thought this was the most hilarious thing they've ever seen (so much for my support system, huh?)! They cracked up all night long.]

This morning, I got up, felt much better, still a little burning, but hey! I was actually able to move. Got to working out... feelin' the burn, feelin' the burn... ew... it hurt a little... then the hurt started to feel GOOD. Mmmm... I was feelin' a good burn and able to say, "Hey! That wasn't so bad this time." I completely feel my endurance coming in. It feels good!

Then... my girls finally woke up. (My turn to laugh!) They were sore! Uh... hello! I had explained to them previously (the night before) that they should be careful and don't laugh at me too hard. Whelp, the oldest, who didn't actually quit last night, could barely get up from sitting this evening. Hip hip hooray! Huh! Mom's not so "old" after all... is she? I'm not happy they are hurting, mind you... I'm just happy that they can finally see the light and realize that I am not making this up.

I finally watched my TiVo of The Biggest Loser today. I should've had a box of tissue with me. It was the saddest, most heart-wrenching episode I've ever seen. I'm a sucker, and this is why I put off watching it anyway. Wow! I'm rooting for everyone, especially the big guy, Daniel. These people all have such sad and powerful stories. It is extremely inspirational. And in the end, 9 people had to go (each a set of a partnership). How sad is that?

I went out to eat tonight. I chose a "healthier" and smaller-portioned dish, ordered salad instead of a cream soup, only had small tastes of the appetizers, and didn't finish my coffee. I still felt completely satisfied. I also resisted the slight temptation to nibble of of other's plates {Bad habit, Lisa!} And I did it on my own, which is even better. It didn't kill me to do it. Wow! I didn't think I'd be at this level this soon, but I am!

And... {insert drum roll here} my final "up" for the day? I lost another 4 pounds! My weigh-in is going to be every Thursday night (January 1st was a Thursday, too!), and I "officially" weighed in. I was so jazzed!!!! So my little ticker up in the right corner says I have lost a total of 6 pounds! Go me!

This past week, I have worked out every day (except Sunday - my rest day), cut down on my portion sizes, cancelled out second and third helpings, limited my coffee/Coke intake to no more than 2 cups per day (and sometimes I didn't even have that!), drank a heck of a lot more water, increased my fruits and vegetables, ate smaller/more frequent meals, and have tracked my adventures here. Whew! That's a lot! But, I am happy to report that I don't feel deprived.

Some people (professionals included) may think that it is only healthy to lose .5-2 pounds per week. I am more than sure this loss will slow down for me. I only lost this amount of weight because of the things I did. I did not starve myself... far from it, actually. With the amount of water I have been drinking and the higher fiber content as well as the amount and variety of fruits and vegetables I've been consuming on a daily basis, my body is basically de-toxing as well. And I like it.

While I am ready for my body to slow down on the weight loss (I gotta be realistic, right?), I still kinda like it... 'cause... "I feel good!"

OMGosh! I am so SORE today!

So... I did Level 1 of Jillian Michaels, again, today (Day 2). EEEWWWW! I am so sore! My kids are totally laughing at me, as they "see" the pain I am going through with the super sore muscles.

Now... I didn't do it 100%, as my muscles were already semi-sore, but I did do it - all the way through, too! I was a little achy, so I did it "beginner" style and low impact. I did it half-way yesterday, and I think all of the squats just totally killed my thighs! I'd love it if they shriveled away forever, which is my ultimate goal (lol). But I'm sure my strength and endurance will improve within the next couple of days. She sure kicks your butt - at least she kicks mine!

I watched DietTribe yesterday, too (had it Tivo-ed from Monday on Lifetime Television). Wow! All of those women have a great goal and great support. It would be nice to get some support... This is my support for now.

My kids "want" to exercise with me, but I am too emotional right now to deal with their laughing. They think it's pretty funny to see me huff and puff, sweat and grunt. I (unfortunately) take it a different way. It is extremely hurtful to me. I didn't used to be like this.

My weigh-in day of January 1st was actually the heaviest I've ever been. It may not seem like a lot to others to want to lose 51 pounds, but it sure seems like a lot to me. To someone else, it may seem like a huge amount, then they probably have never been heavy at all, as they don't have that mentality. So you know... the 2 pounds I lost is probably (seriously) due to more water (see the Blinkie above!!!) and limiting myself to 2 cups of coffee/soda (either/or) each day. I am almost beyond the headaches! Go me!

Here's some beginning pics, taken from last week. Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. I'm a little nervous, as I've drank so much water, I feel so bloated and heavy! I know I'm doing well, but the results will probably trickle in. The pics may not look so bad, but, they look bad to me. And this is about how I feel about me.

What it came down to was a feeling. I was feeling way too comfortable in sweats. Yeah, I know... they are supposed to be comfortable. But the problem was that everything else was fitting way too tight to be comfortable, so sweats were the only thing I had left. I was also feeling really tired, really depressed, and really agitated for absolutely everything. Everything and anything was stressing me out. So, I decided to start to "fix" my problem all by myself. If this didn't help things, then I would need to take another venue to get my feelings resolved.

I'm sure some of you (if there are any of you out there) that can totally relate. You have been there, or maybe this is what you are feeling now. Thank you for your support.

Those of you that just don't get it, just try to understand. You may not be able to relate to the weight issue, but maybe to the idea of fitting in anywhere, even socially. You may try to do what you can to fit in, but you just never "feel" comfortable. It's not a good feeling. You know what I mean...

Today is the Day for the Biggest Loser!

The Biggest Loser starts tonight! I love this show!

It is so inspirational. It teaches SO many things. However, I could never leave my family for as long as these people do, so kudos to them. Also, uh... I am an admitted television addict, and I would miss it so! Everyone has such fantastic results.

I really don't know how they do it. I have a problem breathing after 20 minutes of exercise. I catch my breath doing a lot of different things. But, they do it... lots of working out... a lot more time per day than I put in. You go! May the biggest loser win!

The trainers all have their programs, too! There's Losing It with Jillian Michaels (there is a FREE newsletter on this site!). I just love Jillian. She is the ultimate in tough love and tough weight loss. She will not let you give up! She also gets in tune with why you have gained the weight. Her support system is awesome (I just can't afford it, so I take the free newsletter...).

You can join the Biggest Loser Club here (with Bob & Kym). Bob is pretty good. He seems to be a little more lienient than Jill (see above). Kym... I don't particularly care for. I saw her for one season alone on the Biggest Loser, and I really didn't like her attitude. It was a little bratty for my taste. To each their own...

You can also download a free 2 week exercise program at ExerciseTV.tv. The program is free. You can pay and download the exercise videos or get them "ON DEMAND" through cable and satellite programs on the free portion of the network.

Personally, I just completed the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred - Level 1. It kicked my butt, but got me going a lot more than my minimal workout has for the past couple of days. But hey! At least I was putting the effort out there.

So don't forget to watch The Biggest Loser on NBC tonight at 8pm. If you aren't motivated yet, this could get you there!

A New Year... A New You!

Isn't that just SO cliche? Whelp folks... I've joined the cliche-rs and joined in. This is a journey through my weight-loss progress. You will travel with me through my ups, my downs, my accomplishments, and my failures. Together, we can climb those mountains, no matter how hard they may be.

So... I began this journey (by myself) on January 1st, just like everyone else. I started out wanting to "feel" better, look better, and be healthier. Like most of us, I eat portions that are really for 2 or 3 people. I knew I needed to cut down on those. I also needed to exercise. I still need to do these things, but in moderation, I will get there.

My goal is to lose 51 pounds. That may seem like a lot to you, but hey! It's for me, not you. And this is a realistic goal. I am not going for a certain amount each week or a deadline to lose the weight by. Heck! Just cutting down my soda and coffee intake alone chopped off 2 pounds within 3 days.

I have cut down on my portions... Like when that little voice inside my head tells me to go ahead and eat that other piece... or just one more bite... I have to hold myself accountable and say, "NO!" I will not eat that last piece of bacon on the serving plate. I will not get "just a little" more! Those thoughts are self-sabotaging, and I just won't do it anymore.

So... I began January 1st super tired (stayed at the Rose Parade all night) and freezing cold. I did not want to take my hands out of my gloves to make anything, and I was too tired to make anything, anyway. We waited until we got to my mom's to eat anything. WAIT! I had a granola bar prior to packing the car back up. (See what I mean? I think I got this accountability thing down!)

I did munch on a couple of things at my mom's, but I didn't gorge out. (Good for me, huh?) I took moderate portions at dinner, and had water, and ONE cup of coffee.

Now... I love coffee, so that is a little hard for me. I also love Coke (The Real Thing), so it was a little hard, but I handled it pretty well. No headaches from lack of caffeine. When we got home, I got to work and unloaded and cleaned everything (with the girls' help, of course). But I stayed moving.

Friday, I actually got up and exercised! Yeah, me! However, as I was riding my stationary cycle, the pedal fell off... and my mp3 player quite working (the volume will only go DOWN, not up - so now I have NO SOUND!!!). I was not self-sabotaging myself, so I made the "no excuses" pledge and watched television while doing my exercising. I had at least got 20 minutes of biking. So I did my stretching, crunches, and some arm work (boy is it flabby there!). Woohoo! I drank LOTS of water, still watched my portions, and piled on the veggies. You go, girl!

Saturday, it was more of the same.

Sunday, I enrolled in something through Flylady. There is a Virtual Personal Trainer out there, and he is FREE! Johnathan gives motivational e-mails and helps those of us in need out via the No Excuse Workout. Just click on the link, and you, too, can join this great program! Well, he "rests" on Sundays, so I did the same, just so I'd be in the same groove. I ate decently (modestly) and felt pretty good. I still limited myself on that coffee.

Today... I decided to create a blog, so that I am writing these things down (you know "accountability" and all...). I did my exercises with television headphones on (what better way to catch up on Desperate Housewives?). I have again watched what I have eaten and eaten more fruits and veggies, less starches.

See? We're off to a great track record. And I don't feel like I "have" to do it...