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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Am I Doing It Right?

Schwoo! Even though my muscles aren't getting sore anymore and I can actually get through the whole 30-Day Shred, my breathing is still difficult. As I close my eyes while doing my crunches, I hear Jillian's voice saying, "Exhale" and "Inhale" during certain parts of the regime. Sucking in your tummy, belly button to the floor and inhaling on the way down? Uh... I can barely breathe, let alone concentrate on how I am breathing!

So, I ask... is there a difference as long as I am breathing? Maybe this is my problem...

Uh... NO! My problem (and I have to admit it) is that while I was once pretty fit (WAY back in the day!), I let it go. I am one of those people that constantly told myself I could work it off and not worry about anything. And here I am today, more than 50 pounds overweight and barely able to get through a workout. Yuck!

I am trying to reinforce to my girls that they need to STAY in shape. This is a forever task. It does not stop. We should not stop it. Do they really want to end up like me? I sure hope not. And so I'll keep telling them... until I die! I really don't want them to have to fight like I do.

While I worked out this morning, I had to focus... not on Jill telling me to keep going, not on the exercises, but on continuing the exercise. I seriously wanted to stop. So... I looked up at the ceiling while I did "butt kicks" and "jumped rope". I breathed with a Cheerio mouth, concentrating on pushing the air out of the little hole my lips had formed.

I listened to my flabby pouch hit my "bikini line" and cringed. This is something I want to get rid of. The sound disgusts me. It sounds like a flat tire hitting the road at high speed as the car continues to move. Gross!

Another thing I'd like to get rid of... my Uni-Boob! While all women like things to be "lifted and separated", it is not always possible in a sports bra. However, I am hoping that with more work, my "friends" will become a little more like they used to be.

I'm also hoping (and praying!) that when the weight goes, so will the itching. I itch everywhere! In all places fatty. The fat hangs and causes an "icky" feeling... and it itches! Yuck! I disgust myself.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you are overweight, you do not disgust me. It is those little things that each and everyone of us is so critical of in ourselves that disgust me. It is me that disgusts me. I need to get off this roller coaster and shake it off!

Hmm... maybe I'll go do something else "productive" for the time being. Today is laundry day. According to Jonathan of the No Excuse Workout, if I walk back and forth to put away ONE item at a time, I will get in another workout. It's worth thinking about.

But, as I am starting to realize today is weigh-in, I am wondering if morning, daytime, or night is better. (I've been keeping Thursday night weigh-ins.) Please take the poll in the right-hand side bar and tell me what you think. Feel free to leave comments to explain your theory. Thanks in advance!

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